Your Therapy Journey

3 min read

If you are attending as an individual, we start therapy with your life-story of intimacy (Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing).

Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing is a comprehensive and in-depth assessment and exploration of your entire intimate, sexual and relational life. It is an intervention I started developing during my research studies at Cambridge University.

Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing can be a highly informative, educational and therapeutic intervention and serves three primary purposes:

Sense-making and self-awareness (who am I, sexually and relationally, and what is my story? Why do I/we have and keep having this issue/problem? What do I really want in my life, sexually and relationally?)
Psycho-education (challenging your unhelpful beliefs and conceptions)
History taking (assessing the presenting problem and collaboratively developing a tailored treatment plan for you).

Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing often takes 3 to 4 sessions (sometimes more), depending on your life story and significant events and themes.

At the end of the Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing process, we review the findings, identify and define the core problem/s, discuss what factors have contributed to the development of the problem/s, and agree on a treatment plan to meet your goals. Occasionally, depending on the findings of the history taking process, I suggest other forms of clinical or therapeutic intervention (e.g. medical, trauma work or mental health services) and may refer you to your GP, a colleague or other health care professionals.

Therapy then continues, and we see each other regularly, ideally once a week.

Therapy does not just happen in the therapy session. Therapy is a continuous process and should be 'alive' between the therapy sessions. The therapy outcome depends largely on your commitment to and compliance with the in-session and home work (homework).

In-session work (what we do in the session):

What I do: I listen, ask you questions, make observations, introduce new ideas, and suggest possible links and different interpretations.
What you do: You listen, reflect, make observations, make new meanings and suggest possible links, contemplate new ideas, and develop strategies and solutions.

Homework (what you do between the sessions):

Each session, we collaboratively develop homework assignments for you to carry out. Homework assignments are used to rehearse new skills, practice new strategies, restructure unhelpful beliefs, and develop new insights, ideas and solutions. We discuss the previous session's homework at the beginning of every session and check what did and did not work for you. We regularly review your progress.

Ending:

Therapy ends once you feel you have made significant progress and feel confident you can continue the journey without me, using the tools and techniques learnt in therapy.

4 min read

Sexual and relationship problems are usually not just one person's problem (or fault). For many people, they are a problem for the relationship, and sometimes your partner may be negatively affected by the problem as much as (or even more than) you are. Therefore, I often encourage my clients to work together as a couple and support each other in the therapy journey. Of course, you can attend on your own if you prefer or feel more comfortable (or if you are not in a relationship).

If you decide to work together as a couple in therapy, in your initial couple session, we discuss the problem (is it a sexual problem? a relationship issue? or both?), your therapy goals and expectations, and I comprehensively explain the therapy process and answer any question you may have.

If you are happy with the proposed plan, therapy continues with Individual Work, followed by Couple Work. We start with individual sessions to understand the individual's story before the couple's story and how the past impacts the present. Also, some people feel uncomfortable sharing some of their intimate stories in the presence of their partners.

Sometimes, depending on the nature of your problem (for example, when there is a significant non-sexual relationship issue), I suggest continuing with couple sessions until you are ready for Individual Work.

IMPORTANT:

If you are attending as a couple, please note each individual is treated as a client. I recognise the autonomy of each individual client and do not privilege the 'couple' or the 'relationship' as my client. Basically, 'your relationship' is not my client; YOU are!

When working with couples, I carefully consider individual autonomy, confidentiality, and safety. For example, if you tell me you do not want your partner to know something you have shared with me in an individual session, it will always be respected. Or if one of you contacts me requesting a confidential individual session, it will usually be agreed to. Having said that, there are occasions where continuing couple work whilst holding a secret for one party becomes problematic or unethical. In such cases, I inform you as a couple that I can no longer work with you, but I will not disclose the secret/s shared.

Individual Work:

Individual Work begins with Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing.

Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing can be a highly informative, educational and therapeutic intervention and serves three primary purposes:

Sense-making and self-awareness (who am I, sexually and relationally, and what is my story? Why do I/we have and keep having this issue/problem? What do I really want in my life, sexually and relationally?)
Psycho-education (challenging your unhelpful beliefs and conceptions)
History taking (assessing the presenting problem and collaboratively developing a tailored treatment plan for you).

Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing often takes 3 to 4 sessions (sometimes more), depending on your life story and significant events and themes.

We then proceed to Couple Work.

Couple Work:

In your first Couple Work session, we review the findings of the individual sessions, identify and define the core problem/s, discuss what factors have contributed to the development of the problem/s, and agree on a treatment plan to meet your goals. Occasionally, depending on the findings of the history taking process, I suggest other forms of clinical or therapeutic intervention (e.g. medical, trauma work or mental health services) and may refer you to your GP, a colleague or other health care professionals.

Therapy then continues, and we see each other regularly, ideally once a week.

In-session work (what we do in the session):

What I do: I listen, ask you questions, make observations, introduce new ideas, and suggest possible links and different interpretations.
What you do: You listen, reflect, make observations, make new meanings and suggest possible links, contemplate new ideas, and develop strategies and solutions.

Homework (what you do between the sessions):

Ending:

Therapy ends once you feel you have made significant progress and feel confident you can continue the journey without me, using the tools and techniques learnt in therapy.

Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing

2 min read

Talking about intimate experiences is not easy for many people. Yet, throughout the years, I have found that many of us want to share our intimate stories with others as long as we feel we are listened to non-judgmentally and compassionately.

Constructing and internalising our intimate life-stories can provide us with some answers to critical identity questions:

Who am I, sexually and relationally?
How did I come to be the person I am?
Where is my intimate life going?

One of the tools I usually use in sex and relationship therapy is Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing – an intervention I started developing during my studies at Cambridge University. Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing is a process of comprehensive and in-depth exploration of one's entire intimate, sexual and relational life through semi-structured active interviewing.

Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing can be a highly informative, educational and therapeutic intervention and serves three primary purposes:

Sense-making and self-awareness (who am I, sexually and relationally, and what is my story? Why do I/we have this issue/problem? Why do I/we keep having this issue/problem? What do I really want in my life, sexually and relationally?)
Psycho-education (challenging unhelpful beliefs and conceptions)
History taking (helping us collaboratively develop a tailored treatment plan for you).

Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing can be a positive and enriching experience in which you can gain valuable insights and greater self-awareness into your life's personal, interpersonal, familial and sociocultural aspects. Its sense-making quality can bring you narrative coherency, greater meaning, a healthier self-image and enhanced self-esteem, and a sense of unity and purpose in your intimate life.

It is important to note that not everyone will experience constructing and sharing intimacy life-stories similarly. Some people may look back on certain parts of their intimate life with regret, shame, resentment and frustration. For some, this process can be uncomfortable and painful. In situations like these, intimacy life-story telling can be a way of purging or releasing certain burdens and validating personal experiences, all of which are central to recovery and reaching inner peace.

Finally, Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing can help you gain a better sense of how you want your story to end or how you can give yourself the 'good ending' you want. By understanding your past and present, you gain a clearer perspective on your goals for the future and make more educated and informed decisions.

Cambridge Sex Therapy Clinic

Dr Ali Taba – Senior Accredited Specialist in Relationship and Sex Therapy

Individuals

Couples

Individuals

Couples

Individual Work:

Couple Work:

Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing

Book Your First Appointment Now

Still not sure?

Try a free 20-minute consultation to decide if we are a good fit to work together.

Cambridge Sex Therapy Clinic

Dr Ali Taba – Senior Accredited Specialist in Relationship and Sex Therapy

Your Therapy Journey

Individuals

Couples

Individuals

Couples

Individual Work:

Couple Work:

Intimacy Life-Story Interviewing

Book Your First Appointment Now

Still not sure?

Try a free 20-minute consultation to decide if we are a good fit to work together.

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